Writer’s Blocked Confidence

We all have a narrative and a journey we are currently exploring. Like any other story, our story contains chapters that quickly develop by experiences and events that transpire every second of each year. We may not always have control over certain circumstances. However, we control our course and write our chapters. Some individuals know their precise generalized direction and understand what is needed to help them achieve their path. Others may have no idea where they want to lead themselves.

My journey began twenty-six years ago in Spearfish, SD, and let me tell you, it has been one heck of a ride! Every decision and event that has occurred has led me to this exact moment. Why? That I cannot answer, eventually, I may be able to. As of right now, I can reveal one thing; I am beginning this particular blogging journey to build my self-confidence and communication skills. Let me give a short back story.

When I was a child, my confidence lacked; I was quickly embarrassed, timid, and reserved. I often chose to be around adults during gatherings. When I decided to be around individuals my age, I remember getting frustrated internally because I felt like I wasn’t confident enough to engage in conversation. I had issues formulating a structured, thought-out, clear statement; thus, I would give up quickly and get flustered. The internal struggle never went away. I never brought it up because it was unclear how to bring up such a subject; I was blatantly embarrassed because of the uncertainty. The lack thereof has been a constant battle growing up, even to this day. Thus, it’s essential to recognize past struggles to grow as an individual and swiftly hurdle obstacles that might pull you back “down the rabbit hole.”

I ask myself, “how is one able to flourish throughout life with a lack of confidence?” Well, let me tell you, it’s challenging; as a young adult, I feel left behind. However, my progression with communication skills and self-confidence has improved over the past six years. My significant other, Josh, and the love of working as a Front House Manager/server, have opened up my eyes remarkably. It’s getting easier to admit the difficulties I have with communication and confidence; I never wanted to admit it because of shame. The most important thing to help get past uncertainty is learning to believe in oneself and remembering we are our own worst critics. Thus, admitting and acknowledging personal confidence doubt is only the beginning of my improvement with the lack thereof.

With determination, my main objective is to better my self-confidence and improve my communication skills. I will continue to remind myself every day about not giving up and understanding that this particular journey may take some time, but giving up is not an option. The next chapter of my narrative has begun to develop.



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Amberly Baus

Through blogging, I aspire to improve my self-confidence and communication skills. My goal is to not only encourage myself but inspire others as well.